Mourning the end of my algorithm competition career

It has been six years. Although it was a complete failure, it is still worth a bit of nostalgia, or perhaps even mourning.

In Shenyang

It’s my very first time to be in such a northern place. The view from the hotel is so good and so different, I enjoy staring out through the large and transparent window with a cup of coffee in hand.

I should have realized that I love traveling around earlier. I enjoy feeling the displacement in space. My soul is wandering while my body is traveling.

For a penniless college boy , it’s a good way to participate in competitions for school while traveling around the country, cause the school will pay for your hotel and traffic expenses. Unfortunately, I found this too late, just like I figure something important in life out too late , or not yet maybe.

My algorithm competition career

We came very close to winning the bronze medal in both Shanghai and Shenyang, which left us feeling deeply regretful.

Some memories flooded back to me. When I was in junior high school, I used to play Left 4 Dead 2 in the computer room at 二外 with Wang Qianyi.

It was happy. In my third year of junior high, I came to NK Secondary School for an interview-like talk ,and I asked the admissions officer if they had a team for informatic competitions, as if I were good at it. During the summer vacation before high school, I attended an OI training camp and did well in one of the contests. I walked out of the computer room, heading towards the school gate, feeling so good that it seemed as though the Earth was rotating for me. That might have been the only happy moment of my algorithm competition career.

After that, I stepped back from it to focus on the Gaokao(which I also did very in the end). Two years later, I rekindled my interest when I entered university, but ultimately, I didn’t win any medals. **It’s fair—how could you expect a reward with almost no training time and some mental obstacles in heart?**

It was the experience of algorithm competition that led me to College of Computer Science, where I struggle now. After the Gaokao, I got almost the lowest score among all the exams in high school. As a way to escape from the unattractive score, I didn’t carefully consider what major I actually liked. Instead, I relied on my experience in algorithm competitions and blindly chose computer science. In hindsight, it seems like an extremely irresponsible decision regarding my future. But, let it be. After all, even now, I still haven’t figured out what suits me.

However,it is true that now I suffered from the vibe here, suffered from the people around me. I was starting to doubt whether I was always just an ordinary person. I hate stiff, clueless , unromantic computer geeks. I hate going to great lengths and resorting to various means only to boost one’s score. I hate this kind of refined egoism. I am not good at them of course, and it could be the reason why I hate them, perhaps.

I had a bad high school experience and a even worse period of the first 2 years of my college life. Something have confused me for long time , but I didn’t get the courage to get it clear and make some efforts to settle it.

For me

I am a p person actually , and I hate making plans. But this time I realize that I have to make some criterion for myself. Otherwise, how can I make some changes? I should be ware of that no new criterions means do it as usually.

Reduce the time that I listen to songs with lyrics .
If you want to do something, don’t think twice , simply do it.
Keep far away from sbs as well.

What you can control is not in the past or the future, but only in the present.

The six years of failed algorithm competition career is essentially a microcosm of my six years of a failed life.I am now probably at the lowest point of my life. I will rise again and prove that I am not an ordinary person.

如何凭极地飞霜冻结我本性我亦会重燃我这一套求生本领